Spending Money.....

topic posted Tue, September 16, 2008 - 7:39 AM by  Daydream Bel...
I have a problem with it! If I want something I just get it. So un-capricorn like. How do you all stay frugal and not spoil yourself?
posted by:
Daydream Believer
  • Re: Spending Money.....

    Tue, September 16, 2008 - 11:08 AM
    welcome to my world! Just today I bought shoes I could do perfectly well without, but NO, they COULD NOT stay there, they literally followed me outside when I tried to leave, begging me to take them with me
    I blame bloody Neptune in my 2nd house, I came up with nothing better. I'm very bad with money keeping in general, I have no idea how much money is in my purse, in my account, how much I spend in a week, it's just a cabaret... But then again, I can be hit by a bus tomorrow and then what? I don't want my money to go to someone strange, they would not take care of it as well as I do!
    Plus, why not spoil yourself? Who's going to do it for you?
    • Re: Spending Money.....

      Tue, September 16, 2008 - 1:47 PM
      • Re: Spending Money.....

        Tue, September 16, 2008 - 11:47 PM
        i have vacillated between extreme frugality and reckless indulgence. I call it a good day when i've managed to live peacefully in between these extremes, in a land of both abundance and responsibility. There seem to be more and more of these "good days" now that i'm aware of my tendencies and am confronting the wild coyotes that take me for a ride in the moonlight.
        • Re: Spending Money.....

          Wed, September 17, 2008 - 7:35 AM
          How do you find that middle ground? I am plauged by things that I know I want to do and have. I blame it on the American society for brainwashing me so well. Lol...

          but no really! I try really hard. I focus on trying to bring my lunch to work with me everyday and eat dinners at home. I have given up on the bar scene as much as possible so I don't spend more money there. I guess I am doing okay, but then I go out and buy things for the house or for my pleasure. I want to buy a fire hoop, but I am struggling with wanting to pay for it. I know I can make it, but I don't feel like taking the time. Lol....

          Do I really need a fire hoop that I can't really practice on more than a couple times a month?

          • Re: Spending Money.....

            Wed, September 17, 2008 - 10:48 PM
            what helps me to find the middle ground is really digging down into those Saturnian roots and instead of seeing the world of "stuff" through a lens of restraint, i try to see it through a kaleidoscope of potential. Controlling impulses falls under the rulership of Saturn and depending on what other planetary influences push and pull you, a need for balance may be paramount. It seems that the danger of this kaleidoscopic viewing is denial, which is why it needs to be balanced with a realistic money management protocol.

            An example of this is my impulsive thrift-store shopping. I rationalized in the parking lot by saying "i don't really NEED anything in there, but if they have a bookshelf for under $20, i'll buy it". I have a real need for a new bookshelf as i've started piling new books horizontally on top of the vertical books and now i'm out of room. So i went in about 1/2 hour before they were going to close so i couldn't spend any time trying on clothing that i surely don't need. I went straight to the furniture section and walked around, quickly deciding that none of the available bookshelves would suffice. Time to leave, right? Well, i had time, so i walked through the book aisle to see what they had on their "religion and spirituality" shelf, just in case there was a good book on Buddhism or Hinduism or some ridiculous Jesus book that i could cut up for collages. That was the moment in which i departed from my Saturnian self and dissolved into a more Uranian, Jupiterian, Venusian being. I found a LOT of books. Books i wanted to read, books i could cut up for amusing collages, a book for a friend, a book for my son, a book on dollmaking which i'm interested in trying...and by the time they announced that they were closing the store, i had books piled up to my chin. Fortunately, they were all on sale, buy 2 get one free. So i spent only $13, but when i got home, i realized that I HAD NO PLACE TO PUT THESE BOOKS! They are still in a stack on the floor by the bookshelf. How's that for ironic?

            And the collages i was planning on making are not getting made. This story is an example of a compulsive habit of mine, buying materials for art projects that i simply have no time to do. It's all in my mind, these fantastic paintings, collages, necklaces, assemblages, dolls, shrines, oh if only i were Alexander Calder and could spend all my time just making little mechanical toys and playing with them while people paid admission to come and watch! No, i go to work to earn more money to spend at the craft store trying out a new type of glue or stocking up on fake birds for God-knows-what! Where is Saturn when i need him!? Saturn is looking over me, shaking his head from side to side and frowning, burning a big "SHOULD" into my forehead. I SHOULD be paying off my credit cards with that money, and i SHOULD be using the materials i already have, and i SHOULD learn to control my impulse shopping. It's easy to justify these purchases with the _intent_ to do something lucrative with the materials, but the Saturnian Reality is that time does not always permit these dreams to come true.


            This is where the Capricorn melancholy comes from. We have to learn how to balance joy with responsibility, and it's really hard. It even seems futile sometimes, which is why we just give up and give in to the freedom that comes from not trying to control ourselves all the time. Recklessless is AWESOME. Getting wasted, letting the house go to shit, fucking whoever we want to fuck, eating whatever we want to eat, it's the stuff of alcoholism and gambling addictions and going for broke, resigning ourselves to ride the white horse into infinity because life is too short to live in shackles.

            There is a way to stop this train, i know it.
            It involves getting quiet with yourself and searching for the honesty deep inside. There is a place within us where we know we can't hide from the truth, and this is the place where we can see clearly who we were meant to be, and we can see exactly how we're standing in our own way. If we listen carefully to the inner voice, we may even be able to hear the truth about why we get in our own way, and if we're lucky, we might catch a glimpse of the path we need to take to get out of the Hell realms we create for ourselves. The immediate answer to why we do what we do may be a simple, "Because it feels good"...but we need to go deeper than that. There is a hole in there somewhere that we are trying desperately to fill. Just when we think we've filled it, another sinkhole forms. I am by no means the guru who can tell you how to fill these holes or what to fill them with, or how to stay filled all the time without causing more fact if anyone knows the answers, please tell me. I take two steps forward and one step back, which i know is better than one step forward and two steps back, but still i'm not getting "there" as fast as i could be if i weren't tripping over my own feet.

            Well i'm sorry if i rained on anyone's picnic by taking the topic from "buying makeup" to "confronting your inner demons", but i believe that the solution is never at the level of the problem. We have to be willing to go deeper in search of the truth, even in the shadows of who we think we are.
            • Re: Spending Money.....

              Thu, September 18, 2008 - 8:18 PM
              Oh lordy Madame . . . that parable of the thrift store bookshelf expedition with the Saturnian initiation and Venusian conclusion. . . plenty o books but no shelf ... . I'm totally laughing but going YEP OUCH,,, sigh ... I too am awash in good intentions til they are really needed. Capricornian control vs cannabis-driven impulse!!
  • Re: Spending Money.....

    Thu, September 18, 2008 - 4:25 AM
    you are not alone. seriously. i have a major problem with spending too. but i do have it under control now. here's how i've managed it:

    *set my self a spending limit according to what i can afford. i take into account the bills, the rent, gas, food etc & see what's left over for 'madmoney'. then i buy whatever i want within that range. if it's $20 & i'm dying to buy something for myself, then i find something within that range that makes me happy

    *2nd hand stuff/inexpensive imitations & bargan hunting. since i set myself a limit, i try to get the most out of it. so i buy 2nd hand books from amazon, and affordable hand made jewelry from etsy.

    *i look at it for a long time before i actually buy & decide whether or not i really need it. if it's something online, i save it, look at my finances, think about it & if i decide i do need it & will use it, then i'll get it. if not, then i just delete it & move on. this has saved me from buying a lot of things i just don't need.

    yeah, this does take a lot of self control & mastery over impulse. it took me years to learn that & only got it under control due to the threat of the wrath of my aries husband
    • Re: Spending Money.....

      Fri, September 19, 2008 - 5:55 AM
      "it took me years to learn that & only got it under control due to the threat of the wrath of my aries husband" ex used to complain about it also. He wasn't an aries though so I am sure he was not as demanding and blunt about the situation. Lol. He was a Libra. We weren't good at keeping each other's spending at bay!

      I am able to control myself for periods of time and then I am like oh I have been so good! Let me go out and treat myself and next thing I know I can't stop spending because I had deprived myself for so long. I am going to try to work on this happy medium. I feel like if I save money each pay check (even if I need it for bills) it will make me feel better about having money in the bank somewhere instead of just bills.
      • Re: Spending Money.....

        Fri, September 19, 2008 - 11:43 AM
        yah -- my leo/cancer alpha man is scary sometimes too!
        • Re: Spending Money.....

          Fri, September 19, 2008 - 12:07 PM
          Mmmm...I think I need someone with a little alpha male within him. Lol..someone who can keep up!
          • Re: Spending Money.....

            Fri, September 19, 2008 - 1:52 PM
            I think we all need a BIG alpha male who can keep up! I'm personally tired of all the mummies' boys, empty metro-sexuals, retards who have more complexes than me, just get me a MAN! Like my Cappy girlfriend said - we need a man who is more of a man than us... Enough said..
            • Re: Spending Money.....

              Fri, September 19, 2008 - 10:29 PM
              HAHAHAHA oh my Cap sisters!!! We need to be careful what we wish for as it's a mixed blessing to have a man that's more of a man than we are!!! but true that the astrological BALANCE in a relationship whether intentional or lucky can so help a diad along the path,,, lotsa battles but we are strong & stoic ...

              love my big man . . . mmmmmm. . .
              • Re: Spending Money.....

                Sat, September 20, 2008 - 6:01 AM
                oh hell yes!
                • Re: Spending Money.....

                  Sat, September 20, 2008 - 10:41 PM
                  yeah, most of my boyfriends have been pussies. Passive-aggressive pussies, that is.
                  who can keep up with or stand up to a 5'8" 145 lb. Jewish Capricorn from New York? Probably some Aries alpha-male type who would want to lock me up in a tower and "take care of" me. Honestly i'd rather have a pussy for a boyfriend than someone trying to make decisions for me...but i'm enjoying being single until i find a balanced relationship. Even if i met someone who wanted to buy me stuff, let me spend HIS money, i don't think i would last very long in that relationship. But never again will i put up with having a guy live off of me, no matter how good the sex is.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Spending Money.....

                    Sun, September 21, 2008 - 5:09 AM
                    i can't say i've ever been comfortable with guys who want to spend money on me either. it's not that i don't think i'm worth it, but it's because i just feel like a.) there's a hidden agenda there somewhere and b.) i don't like being treated like 'the other girls'. meaning i don't care for men who don't see me for who i am & treat me the same way they treat every other girl.

                    i've had a lot of mamas boys boyfriends to be sure, but i got very disgusted with them & the relationship didn't last. i'm not happy unless i'm with a strong & independent 'tom cat'. my husband is by nature a dominant person, but he's also very sensitive & always encourages me to be myself & take charge. so we have a very good balance.
                    • Re: Spending Money.....

                      Sun, September 21, 2008 - 10:51 AM
                      Yeah, I hear you, Madame... Im 5ft 10 and somewhere around your weight, that doesn't help with men... 1. they're scared of me 2. I feel like their mum if they're not taller and more solidly build than me. Not easy. And nature has such a sense of humour that midgets with security issues tend to fall for me like bees for honey.. Guess its a matter of balance but this is hysterical!!!
                      But back to what bats said, I can very much relate to not feeling good about men spending money on me, I too feel the hidden agenda behind it and feel rid of my power as an independent creature. One of the reasons I would have a problem having a child and staying at home for some say two years and having the man take care of us. Urrrrrrgh. No, thanks.
                      • hold up ...

                        Sun, September 21, 2008 - 11:30 AM
                        Never did my man / partner 'take care' of me. Ours was a 50/50... after I had the babies, I was off work 3 months paid leave (yeah lucky) then back to work and put them in daycare on MY salary. I always worked + was a fanatic mom. He was a fine helpmeet and there was 'even steven' ... tho when the kids grew up & left we did have some wild roller coaster years around the turn of the century when male entitlement & midlife BS made for some nasty stuff... BUT we are still here, our one kid has a media job w bennies, the other a 2 CD deal with J Records, and all I can say is ... we always had commitment, had each other's back... It's true we walked the line between mainstream + tribe ('real' jobs + his band gig, my partying always) but tis possible...

                        Especially because Cappies are brave and strong and self-reliant! That means y'all, gals. (+ guys)

                        Madame -- meet me in Golden Gardens for techno this p.m.???

                        PS wish I was 5'10" and 145.... you have a great gift there!
                        • Re: hold up ...

                          Sat, September 27, 2008 - 10:26 AM
                          well, i usually save up A LOT, for nothing, really. when ive saved some money i go buy whatever i NEED, but not looking at prices (but quality. and a nifty design as well - again, NOT prices). thats oh so, SO liberating.

                          and i still manage to leave yet another.. amount of money un-spent, thats really smoothing for my frugal capricornal needs.

                          and yet another start for another saving.. marathon.. (= yeah, i like that. spent 250~ dollars last time and left 170 for my piggy bank for next time.

                          its not a bad system, isnt it?
                          • Re: hold up ...

                            Sat, September 27, 2008 - 11:33 AM
                            I follow that very same philosophy too.. A very good system indeed. :)
                            • Re: hold up ...

                              Sun, September 28, 2008 - 3:26 PM
                              yes i would agree that i do that too.
                              if you remember from that post i made quite a while ago, "It's a Capricorn Thing", i mentioned that when we say we have NO MONEY, it doesn't mean that we are literally broke, it means that we've spent as much as we are comfortable spending and are getting dangerously close to the cushion that we leave in our bank accounts "just in case". Same goes for weed, i've noticed. If i say i don't have any weed, it means i'm not breaking into that last little nug i'm saving. What am i saving it for? Will it ever get used? Probably not until i've got a full, fresh bag.

                              On the contrary, if a Scorpio or Pisces tells you they have no money, it means you'll have to buy them lunch or give them bus fare.
                              I'd sooner walk a mile than bum bus fare off of somebody.
                              • Re: hold up ...

                                Sun, September 28, 2008 - 8:29 PM
                                I am much the same... got the safety cushion and will not be broke. And never run out of ganja! But push mighty close to the line at all times. It feels good to be safe but good to push the safe limit too... don't know if the Cap thing or that Sag cusp...
                              • Re: hold up ...

                                Mon, September 29, 2008 - 6:42 AM
                                I have my safety cushion when it comes to green tea but not to the green cash! lol...damn I need a better system.

                                Adopting 'yalls this instant!
                                • Re: hold up ...

                                  Mon, September 29, 2008 - 10:47 PM
                                  i just pretend the money is not there.
                                  like however much i have in my bank account, i subtract $1000 from that in my mind and tell myself that is how much i have available to spend. That's why my bills don't all get paid, but if they bug me enough or threaten to disconnect me, i'll pay the bill and then make an effort to replace that money immediately. If i paid off everything that i'm supposed to be paying, i would truly have no money left. But i'd rather live this way than be unstable with the possibility that my car could break down or some emergency would come up that required up to $1000 of immediate cash.

                                  I have Saturn exactly trine my Sun. We're good buds, me and Papa Saturn.
                                  • Re: hold up ...

                                    Tue, September 30, 2008 - 7:04 AM
                                    That is something I am learning to do. Not pay my bills so much in full that I have no cash to chill with or save :)

                                    I am excited that this works for others. I have already started to adopt this plan :) Yippie! I can feel that it will be good.
                                    • Re: hold up ...

                                      Tue, September 30, 2008 - 11:35 PM
                                      the way i see it, the whole system could crumble at any moment, and if/when it does, i'd hate to think that i gave all my money away for nothing. So i pay what i can, to show my gratitude for the services and goods that make my life what it is, and i just relax about the other stuff. It will get paid eventually, or the dollar will become worthless and i'll just go back to my garden for the next meal.
  • Re: Spending Money.....

    Fri, October 3, 2008 - 4:57 PM
    ok so i just *totally* blew my own rules & ran my bank account into the ground. i saw. i wanted. i bought. (unfortunately) i didn't have the money for it. my husband is SO pissed off at me right now. with every right. it's either eat or shop for me. and since i'm dieting, it was shopping. i'm so in the dog house this week.
    • Re: Spending Money.....

      Fri, October 3, 2008 - 10:57 PM
      ugh. I can't even imagine sharing resources with a partner, and being held accountable for fuck-ups. It's bad enough i fuck up sometimes, but i do a fine job beating my own self up and don't need any help, thank you very much!
      • Re: Spending Money.....

        Fri, October 3, 2008 - 11:24 PM
        Must be the stars: my co-conspirator/partner marched me through the checkbook this week (we keep separate/together money in an odd way) and called me out on my NOT recording over a grand of withdrawals... =he was right and he didn't even get mad... A saint. So I'll catch up again this month. Is this my Sagitarrian side though? I never know,,,
        • Re: Spending Money.....

          Sat, October 4, 2008 - 9:48 PM
          i think that some Capricorns simultaneously appreciate structure and rebel against it.
          at the same time as i would loathe having someone check up on me financially, it would keep me out of a lot of trouble and probably spare me some self-created stress.

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