Please read the entire thing. It would really mean a lot to me. Thanks.
Met Cap back in September. Hit it off immediately. I know it sounds cliche but it was something I can't even describe. I felt that we would have a fruitful relationship as well as long lasting. A little after a month, communication slowed down. Let me just get it out that I'm an Aqua with Moon, Mercury, and Venus in Cap (as well as other planets in Cap). I did synastry charts and not surprised, we have 11 positive aspects and one negative aspect out of twelve. I think that's why we hit it off so well. Distance grew between us but I knew in my gut he had deep feelings. I just knew it. As much as I wanted to deny it, I couldn't. But it baffles me. The more we grew apart, the nicer and sweeter he became, as well as watching me from afar like he never had before. Almost as if he wanted to come over and talk to me but couldn't.
Initially, he was a piece of work. By far the most difficult person to get to know. I thought I was difficult, this guy takes the cake. It felt like he wanted to submit to me but kept me at arms length.
I'll admit, I'm overly independent and aloof. I can't help it. I called when he asked or called every two weeks on the weekends. I was in no way clingy or a doormat to him. Trust me on that. Anyway, we stop speaking around the middle of November (we weren't official, just getting to know eachother). No contact after that. Calls me on January 28th after 2 1/2 months. We talk briefly because I was in a rush and was so tired of the push-pull cycle ( I think I contributed by I'm not sure). So I stopped picking up his phone calls and decided to move on. Why be into me, disappear and reappear? That is something I will absolutely will not tolerate unless he is deciding to commit to me or has a legit reason.
Want to know the kicker? He continued to call every single week at least twice for TWO MONTHS STRAIGHT. Unbelievable. Maybe more, I stopped counting after two months.
I don't care so much for him anymore but I'm just curious as to why this happened. I know I'm not the only person who experienced this from a Cap. It frustrates me because he's such a good person. If he just wasn't so mistrusting. He's made it clear on numerous occasions he very mistrusting of females.
And the only difference between our charts besides the Sun is his Moon is in Leo and Venus in Aquarius.
Met Cap back in September. Hit it off immediately. I know it sounds cliche but it was something I can't even describe. I felt that we would have a fruitful relationship as well as long lasting. A little after a month, communication slowed down. Let me just get it out that I'm an Aqua with Moon, Mercury, and Venus in Cap (as well as other planets in Cap). I did synastry charts and not surprised, we have 11 positive aspects and one negative aspect out of twelve. I think that's why we hit it off so well. Distance grew between us but I knew in my gut he had deep feelings. I just knew it. As much as I wanted to deny it, I couldn't. But it baffles me. The more we grew apart, the nicer and sweeter he became, as well as watching me from afar like he never had before. Almost as if he wanted to come over and talk to me but couldn't.
Initially, he was a piece of work. By far the most difficult person to get to know. I thought I was difficult, this guy takes the cake. It felt like he wanted to submit to me but kept me at arms length.
I'll admit, I'm overly independent and aloof. I can't help it. I called when he asked or called every two weeks on the weekends. I was in no way clingy or a doormat to him. Trust me on that. Anyway, we stop speaking around the middle of November (we weren't official, just getting to know eachother). No contact after that. Calls me on January 28th after 2 1/2 months. We talk briefly because I was in a rush and was so tired of the push-pull cycle ( I think I contributed by I'm not sure). So I stopped picking up his phone calls and decided to move on. Why be into me, disappear and reappear? That is something I will absolutely will not tolerate unless he is deciding to commit to me or has a legit reason.
Want to know the kicker? He continued to call every single week at least twice for TWO MONTHS STRAIGHT. Unbelievable. Maybe more, I stopped counting after two months.
I don't care so much for him anymore but I'm just curious as to why this happened. I know I'm not the only person who experienced this from a Cap. It frustrates me because he's such a good person. If he just wasn't so mistrusting. He's made it clear on numerous occasions he very mistrusting of females.
And the only difference between our charts besides the Sun is his Moon is in Leo and Venus in Aquarius.
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Thu, May 29, 2008 - 3:40 PMI dont know if i can be of any real help to you melina, but a couple things i noticed from your post...
You stopped speaking right when mars went retrograde, and he called you again on january 28 right close to stationary mars ready to go direct again. I'm not totally sure what this means, but i just noticed. People go through many changes in behaviour for retrogrades. I know for me, that mars retro was INTENSE becasue of the pluto opposition.
So basically, when he called you again, was when mars went direct again after having been retro since nov. But the kicker is that mercury went retro on that day as well! That point in time was a very powerful one..check out the transits on astro.com if you dont have a program to do it...
Maybe check his chart and see if he has mars or mercury retro, that will tell alot too
heres a link to the retrograde dates www.astrologyweekly.com/astrol...ons.php
Theres alot of info out there as to the effect of mars and merc retro
Caps are an oxymoron sometimes...i know from deep experience..lol...grew up in a household of 4 caps, including myself! haha
Although the cap can sometimes have a great sense of humour (depending on ascendants and so many other chart considerations as well) they can be over fatalistic and pessimistic. Maybe you scared him..and your aloofness didnt help. Sometimes when something good happens to a person, they aren not sure how to handle it, beleiveing it is too good to be true. I really dont know..but the fact that he called you incessantly afterward tells alot about his feelings for you. Sure you dont want to give it another try? ;) -
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Thu, May 29, 2008 - 5:06 PMI've kept up with every retrogade, full moon, etc. every since I met this Cap. He's the reason why I became heavily involved. I never was before. What's strange is that right before Mars went direct, I tried calling once but his phone was out of service. The time we spoke briefly, he told me he lost his phone and was going to purchase a new one.
And you're right. He pessmistic and fatalistic. In private, he gets mopy and it's apparent he's insecure. One occasion he thought I was hitting it off with another guy after what my ruthless cousin had told him ( she dislikes him, and I wasn't walking to some other guy).
I've never dealt with a male cap before. I had a cap best friend for about 7 years and if she had been born a male, I would have been in love. I know it sounds strange (and I'm completely straight btw lol) Coincidentally, their birthdays are one day apart (him-Jan 13, her- Jan 14) and they share physical characteristics. They look related. And they also had almost identical phone numbers (one number off). I know, I looked into this too much but the similarities are bizarre.
I've thought long and hard and would probably consider it again but I need time to get myself together (stressing over other things). I've heard countless stories of women ending up with their caps after they return and countless stories of the same push-pull cycle (one was involved on and off with a cap male for 12 years...eek!!) I'm easily influenced by the negative. I know caps require a lot of patience and understanding, and this guy makes it obvious he has lots of time. (He told a potential to call him back in a year after a death in the family so she can heal--ONE WHOLE YEAR! It didn't work out btw, she screwed him over with his friend)
When we do meet again, and it will happen (we live literally one minute away from eachother, we can see our houses from afar) I will let everything out in the open, most definitely. I was too cautious and now I'm at a point where I just want to screw it and see where it's headed. Most of the people that enter my life aren't all that special to me (9/10) but this one is unlike any other.
I just have to learn to forgive and give second chances. It probably wasn't intentional.
Any more advice?
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Mon, June 2, 2008 - 1:07 AMjust open up and let all you thoughts out. Capricorns are sometimes timid and they are afraid to really open up but if you do the first steps I think he will surprise you just how much he cares. The fact that he has been calling like that...well for me tells that he really really has been thinking about you and i guess he figured that he really wants to see you again....good luck and patience! -
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Mon, June 2, 2008 - 4:43 PMi don't know if i'm inferring this without enough information, but my intuition tells me that a lot of your problem comes from lack of clear, courageous communication and the ensuing misunderstanding that inevitably results from not speaking from your heart. That was a long sentence, but do you follow me? I am a very Sagittarian-influenced Capricorn so maybe that explains why it's always been easy for me to be frank with people and openly discuss challenging emotional situations. BUT, in general, i'd say that most Capricorns appreciate (if not EXPECT) people being direct with them. Now in your case, you may be dealing with a compounded issue, as this is a MAN you are talking about (sorry guys...) and they aren't known for their emotional eloquence. But wouldn't it be easier if you two just opened up a discussion about what is really going on between you? Most guys run like hell when a woman attempts to talk "about US", but this guy seems to be showing some persistence and taking the initiative to stay connected with you. So put him to the test--tell him that you have been confused by his mixed signals and you need to know how to proceed, so it is important that you two sit down and hold space for a fearlessly honest exploration of what you mean to each other.
I think you should not be so quick to bail, he might just be protecting himself by not assuming that you want to be with him. I do that all the time when i really like someone, they never know how i feel because i am guarding my emotions, just waiting for a definite sign that it's ok to open the flood gates. And when i get that sign, wow...it's a deluge, and few men can handle it. That's why i hold back for so long and i've missed out on opportunities with people who were also hiding their aces just in case the feelings weren't mutual.
Relationships would be so much easier if people weren't so chickenshit... -
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 8:49 AMHAHAHAHA and thanks for that post. Just joined this tribe as well as Sagittarian tribe as I am born on a cusp and feel much of both... HAVE to say I HEAR YOU and feel your advice was eloquent and perceptive and your personal opening up rang so familiar ! love to all (((O)))
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 8:54 AMhoho! thank you so much for this post... just joined this tribe and Sagittarians as well being born on the cusp. Found your advice eloquent and perceptive and the personal unfolding sooo familiar!
love to all
((((O))))
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Tue, June 3, 2008 - 6:14 AMGod you know sometimes women really piss me off. First of all you don't mention anywhere in your post whether you asked him why he wasn't calling you. maybe he was busy or maybe he didn't want to seem clingy. so when he finally does figure out hes in love with you and starts calling you every other day you fucking ignore him! im sorry but thats exactly why caps don't trust women. every time we make up our minds to care about you you stab us in the heart. well shame on you. I'm sorry if ive added a little of my own bitterness to this post its just how i feel.
Also something you should know about Capricorns. We don't take Anything lightly. we might take 3 years to decide what color to paint our bedroom. were sure as hell not going to fall in love on a dime. it takes time and careful planning for us. i get that all the time, someone will ask me a question and i will start to think about it. well because i didn't just spout whatever bs that popped into my head they assume i don't know the answer when in fact if they'd give me a minute they'd get as thorough and clear of an answer as they could ask for. anyway you've probably totally blown it with what would have been the most secure and loyal relationship you've ever been in. its probably too late but if you call him up and apologize profusely you might have a chance.
Good luck. -
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Tue, June 3, 2008 - 6:51 PMDon't mean to be rude, but I thought she said that he was calling her every week =S -
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Tue, June 3, 2008 - 8:05 PMno, that was later on when he reappeared in her life.
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Tue, June 10, 2008 - 1:58 PMKyle, chill out.
Initially he was. I called him as well. He slowed down while I still called here and there. I take one step foward and he takes 3 steps back. Oh jeez. And I made it know in the beginning that I wanted more.
Update: He called twice last week and left me a message. I've decided to move on but I have also never been in a situation like this before.
I posted the topic because it's new to me and was curious. This situation has been so unpredictable it's insane.
Dealing with this cap is like a mystery that will end unsolved.
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Tue, June 3, 2008 - 8:38 PMkyle...
I hear you...your advice in my situation was right also.
if you're an impatient woman, a Cap man is not for you -
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 5:24 PMlast month i was dating a cap and all of a sudden... no calls. till today when i bumped into him... and he apologised... repeatedly.
i was thinking... did he only apologise kuz he just ran into me or do you think if he wasnt sorry he wouldnt bother apologising.
he seems sincere. but idk... thoughts? -
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 5:21 PMIt can be very difficult to understand capricorns. you see we are perhaps the most emotional sign of them all yet by looking at us youd think we were the least its because of or epic self control ( or at least the illusion of it) when a capricorn freaks out you will probably never know, but to them it is like world war three in the heart. what im trying to say is that he was probably just really scared to call you and was hoping youd take the initiative. then when he ran into you he was so realived yet so worried that hed blown it that he just stammered on about wanting forgiveness. My adviece is that if your into him give him a shot, and try and keep in mind what could be going on underneath his stoic facaed. The other option is that he was busy. capies are easily distracted by work he may have been in the middle of somehitng and hoped youd still be there when he got back to you. you can read more about these behaviors in previous posts in this thread. The last option is that hes not intrested in yoou though that would be very obvious just try and kiss him and see what happends if he chokes and runs your out. Finally a cap would never never fake apologise. if he said it he ment it dont ever second guess that. As we have said in earlier posts you must be very patient with capps or it just wont work we take a long time to do things that are important. hope i helped :) -
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Sat, June 28, 2008 - 1:31 AMFunny you mention that Kyle (about them being stoic/acting like they don't give an ounce of care) because during one of our phone conversations in the past, I had said that he doesn't care about anything that goes on his life (he has a habit of saying "I don't care"). He got upset. I didn't think he'd take it that way.
And he has what other caps have called a poker face. It's almost impossible to tell what he's thinking/feeling. He's so hard to decipher.
Caps are by far the most DIFFICULT people to get to know/get close to. -
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Sat, June 28, 2008 - 2:35 PMStability, stability, stability. That is the Capricorn keyword. He has to know that you're going to be there. It's maddening, isn't it?
I'm a Cap with Aquarius rising, which contributes to a lot of aloofness, but I do know that I have to get some sort of footing before I make any commitment at all, to anything, whether it be in work, romance, etc. I've got to feel secure in anything I do before I present it. As a musician, I'll spend hours and hours practicing something to get it perfect before I present it to anyone. Even in cooking dinner for friends! The recipe's got to be tried and true before I let someone try it. It's maddening, even to me, that I can't just put myself out there and do something even though I desperately want to. One of the reasons, though, is that humiliation and rejection are one of the Capricorn's greatest fears.
After reading all the posts here, my advice is to give him some sort of proof that you're going to be around. Make some definite plans, assure him, in some way, that you're not going to judge him. The Capricorn defensiveness is often just a mechanism used to avoid humiliation and rejection. Capricorns don't take action until they're sure, but once they're sure, I promise you, it will be amazing. I would go to the ends of the earth for a lover, but not until I'm sure they're going to appreciate it and not judge or otherwise reject me.
Hope this helps a bit!
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Mon, June 30, 2008 - 6:51 PMWell Melina I have kinda sort of the same problem with a capricorn. I am a cancer girl and i have known this cappy for about 6 six years some times he calls me and some times he doesn't. There where a couple of time that i have not spoke to him in about 3 months, but you know what he all ways ends up calling me it might take him some time, but he call. I don't know really what he wants with me with in those 6 years he got married so the only thing i could offer him is my friendship. He acts like he really likes me and would do anything for me and other times he acts like he does know who I am. He says things like he is going to leave his wife and crazy things like, but i don't know why he has to say it to me I don't care what he does like I said only friendship I know he wants more, but what sex, love what! I think i am going to give up on this one. So if your cappy is like this one don't wast your time go find your self a nice cancer man. -
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Thu, July 24, 2008 - 9:54 PMoh my god. I'm also a cancer girl and I have known this cappy guy for about 9 years. He has a wife but he keeps looking for me. The problem is that i can't resist him. He has been the second guy in my life that I have really cared for.
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Tue, July 8, 2008 - 10:07 PMI'm having the same problem with "my" cappy. Right now we're just in the talking phase and a semi-long distance relationship. I'm a Pisces with moon in Taurus, venus in Capricorn, and rising Cancer. He's cappy with scorpio venus and moon in Libra (dont know the rest). We'll go long times, weeks, with no response from him after I email then he'll reply with an apology about being busy and ask how I'm doing. As a Pisces I'll be the first to admit that, like it or not, I'm a little needy but I want this to work so am being patient - not inundating him with emails (he has no phone where he's working), replying back with questions about what he's up to and what's new with me etc.
*sigh* I guess I'm just wanting a little more participation on his end. I get where he's coming from (as my venus is Capricorn too) and want to be patient but I need reassurance (that danged Pisces sun lol). So I put it to any Caps willing to help: what should I do? Wait it out, continue this slow going (he is apologizing and I trust his sincerity), or maybe pull back a bit and make him chase? I've never dealt with a Cappy so he's a new beast for me. :-) -
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Re: Cap disappears and calls 2 1/2 months later
Tue, July 8, 2008 - 11:22 PMWith me not speaking him, I believe he got the hint. I'm definitely not needy or clingy (thank God for the Aqua in me) so he lost his chance. He knows where I live and if he wants to drop by, so be it. But I have to much pride to let him pull that crap again.
A guy has one chance to disappear on me and he better have a good explanation. It seems to me that the Cap realized what he was missing once I decided to cut him off. My situation is very complex so I'm not going to get too deep into it. He saw me the other day and he stared at me, as if time stood still, from afar, and it was obvious as to what he was staring at. It was awkward.
I don't need a relationship but it would have been nice. Too late Cap, you lose. If he still wants me, he's going to have prove to me that the cycle won't repeat itself (maybe the cycle won't repeat itself if I actually take the time to hear what he has to say but I don't go back) because I'm not going to wait for someone who's indecisive (like a lot of the women who have waited months, even YEARS for these cap men, WTF?).
I don't hate or dislike him because we are not and never were in a exclusive relationship, we were just getting to know each other. But if it was meant to be, then we'll cross paths and everything will fall into place. If we do speak again, I will lay it all out on the table. I'm not going to hide how I feel and what I think just because I like him and want to make it work. I'm not settling for crap.
No offense, but I sounded exactly like the two of you. EXACTLY. You will, too, come to a point where you'll look back when you use your mind to make decisions in this type of situation and not your heart. So much wasted time, and for what?
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