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Now ya see 'em, now ya don't: The Cap Disappearing Act

topic posted Sun, July 27, 2008 - 7:42 AM by  Aubrey
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So, I was reading over on another forum and at least 3 people (all Leos) had the same experience of Cap friends who hang out with them hardcore for a little while partying, having a good time, but then disappear suddenly for weeks or months on end. Then when they finally saw them again and said how worried they were, Cappy just shrugged and seemed confused at the idea of someone worrying about them.

I have to admit that this is something I do with just about everyone, particularly a Leo friend of mine. I don't know whether it's a particular cappy trait, but when I feel down or over-stressed, I feel like I have a responsibility not to inflict that on other people and to protect them from it. I also just plain feel like being alone or sometimes I'll get really involved with something new and different to kind of re-charge and have an outlet for all that crap. The idea of someone worrying about me just seems completely absurd, somehow.

Anyway, the reason I think I do this particularly with my Leo friend is that I feel like when I'm in her company, I'm expected to be all sh**s and giggles and play the faithful audience member (whether she's being a crack-up or laying on the couch lamenting about old bfs) no matter how I'm feeling. Sometimes it's a lot of fun to do that and I don't mind. Other times I just have too much of my own to worry about to even have the idea on my radar screen. I love her to death, she's a lot of fun, and she can be incredibly generous... just not with attention. I try to be fair by just not asking this of her and in turn she respects that I don't always want to give her my attention. I don't think it's necessarily a total Leo thing, but I wonder what's going on in her chart and how it's interacting with mine on this.

Anyway, I was wondering how many other Caps go into isolation when they feel done in and if there's any particular person they avoid the most when they feel down and out.
posted by:
Aubrey
North Carolina
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  • i sure do love the leos but they can wear me out, too. and yes, i've done the same with leo friends in particular. i just don't have the kind of stamina they require out of a friend. so i've been known to avoid them. but at the same time, i don't want them to feel badly about themselves or feel like they've done something wrong. it's just i get worn out & also, i just need a lot of alone time too.
    • I most definitely tend to do the same. It's partly because I dont want to throw all my crap on other people and partly because I really need to sort out what's going on inside of me on my own. I also tend to go quiet, just don't have anything to say AT ALL and that is supposedly VERY uncomfortable to other people, then I feel guilty for making them feel uncomfy and there you have a pretty little vicious circle...
      Generally in those times I tend to shy away from my general and maybe more superficial acquaintances, my two best friends who I feel know me very well, I can always go to.
      Also funny how the Cap seems almost surprised that someone could worry about them... in my view its because they are surprised someone actually cares about them, heheh. I am always very touched since deep down I do feel quite undeserving of love, which is apparently a cappy trait... I don't know.
      • Unsu...
         
        been there and done that as well. not just with leo friends, but others as well. I also feel strange when people say they get worried when i dont call or anything, I always toss back, well you know you have a phone and know where I live if you are that concerned. :) gets em everytime.
        • I too think it's a very Cappie trait to 'disappear'... We can be on-scene and content for a while, and then apparently vanish while we're either neck deep in a project, or work commitment. We're artists, scientists, scheming politicians, dedicated atheletes, all who must press the nose to the grindstone to achieve our myriad accomplishments.

          We can be quite content as hermits, or potentially thrive in the center of attention when it suits our needs or goals. We're also very independent and tend to (publicly) shrug off the care and concern of friends and loved ones (when privately it gives us great reassurance.)

          Feel free to give us a ring or stop by... but don't be suprised if we react like Dr. Frankenstein at peak moment when creating the monster! "No! Stop you fools! Now, you've ruined everything!" But then seeing an opportunity to shine, Dr. Frank. invites you in for a peak... "It's alive! It's alive!!!"

          You might just be surprised at our demented genius!
          • So, do you think that if a Cap friend or acquaintance drops off the face of the earth we should try to keep in touch with them until they come back? Because I've noticed several of my Cap friends/SO's do just that. (I tend to be understanding because, as a Pisces, I do it a lot too when I need to be alone and regroup)
            • i have definitely been found guilty of disappearing. In fact, i'm doing it right now!
              i sometimes go days without answering my phone, or months without going out to parties, and my family hears from me only a few times a year. On the inside of this disappearing act, i consider myself fully present. I have so much to sort out, organize, create, investigate, process, discard and learn from in every moment, there hardly seems to be time or energy to deal with anybody else's concerns. This is why everyone thinks we're self-absorbed--we ARE.

              Now if i make the effort to reach out and connect with a Capricorn friend and they don't respond for weeks or months, i take it very personally because i feel like i must not be very important to them if they can't be bothered even to let me know that they are doing their disappearing thing and it's not because i suck. So what i've learned from this is that it's a good idea to let people know where you're at before or while you've disappeared just to show some respect for that relationship. It can be really hard to pull your head out of the sand to do this, but for just one moment, showing someone that you value their friendship can make a world of difference.

              My sun and moon are opposite, and what lies at the midpoint of the two is Libra, the scales. What could be more poignant than that as a lesson in balancing extremes? The planet i have in Libra is Uranus, which reminds me that i must keep changing, stay fluid, don't fall into a rut, and be willing to let others influence me. It may be that i have so much Scorpio energy that i thrive on being reclusive and making magick happen in secret, but go too far down that rabbit hole and people eventually forget about you. There are times when i feel lonely and disconnected and wonder where all my friends are, and i have to admit that i may have pushed them away by hiding out so much. There must be a way to stay connected while still preserving that inner richness that makes us who we are. In my case, the solution is to be found in meditations on balance.
    • I'm a capricorn and Yes your right I do that a lot to my friends when I either need my space or just don't like how they are... but over all most people tend to miss understand capricorn's... a lot of leo I don't really like dealing with cause there not good friends there for them selfs.... and sometimes turn on you...Now I'm not saying everybody dose this but from me dealing with family&friends who are leo's thats how they have been... I was in a relationship with one for 9 1/2 yrs he was all about him self and still is to this day ...they don't know when there wrong and won't say sorry so maybe thats why caps tend to back off them so much.....
  • I have a couple of suggestions for reasons we do this kind of thing that might clarify the situation. Firstly Capricorns operate on a whole nother frequency of time. IN other words while a leo or cancer might be thinking about what there going to do tonight. A capricorn is likely thinking about how there curent projects might culminate in the coming years. the elements are a great way of visualizing a signs behaviour. Capricorn, being an earth sign tends to accomplish things over a great period of time. Take the grand canyon for example. It took millions of years ( or something like that) to form yet each nook and cranny was delicately timed and carefully constructed based on weather patterns erosion etc. etc. A capricorn Is the same way and other signs can have a real hard time understanding that just because we had a blast at the party today it doesnt mean we will want to do it again tomorrow. Esentially we prefer meaningfull rewards gained ofver long periods of hard work to instant gratification.
    Another reason for this behaviour is the capricorns propensity for deep introspection. If we encounter a problem often times we will simply concentrate on it in a very deep almost obsessive manor untill its solved even if it takes months or years.
    Also We absolutly hate to look dumb or bad in any way even though were not shallow or anything we concentrate soooo hard when we interact socially to behave in a "perfect" manor that it takes alot out of us, and we just need to be alone for awhile to recharge. I dont know about the rest of you but I really love to be alone, even though I hate it.
    • haha, i don't think i do a very good job of acting in a perfect manner.
      i just came to the conclusion today that while i consider myself a kind person, "nice" is not an adjective that aptly describes me.
      • lol yah thats what the quotation marks were for. I could have said we try really hard not to be embarased. nice has nothing to do with it necisisarily.
        • well i guess i took it a step further to imply that keeping up appearances for social graces is considered "nice" to most people.
          i think it's a bloody lie, if you ask me...
          • Joining in late here, having disappeared for a while!! hahahah. . .. OK, guilty as charged. Tho usually I blame my Sag cusp for my fiddle-dee-dee now ya see me now ya don't thing... Being a solo flyer is part of the entity. Though in all seriousness: with friends of the heart or blood family it's a different story. There is no need to 'keep up appearances' or for 'social graces' -- and my goal forward is to somehow try and maintain relationships at this level or not get drawn in. . . New tribe friends raise the level of intensity and it's timely..... love my intense Caps. . .
            • word.
              my goal is to figure out how not to be a hypocrite. For example, it's perfectly ok for me to disappear, but i get offended when others do it.
              • i do it all the time... and will probably do one here real soon... my girl is moving away, so i'm probably going to be in a funk for a bit... which will give me time to work on side stuff...
                • Sorry Caps but you ain't got exclusivity on the "disappearance act". I'm Aqua and I do it all the time.
                  One of my friends is a Capricorn - our idea of having fun is taking long walks in the city without talking to each other. We can go through months with no contact and we're ok.
                  I don't see the point in being around people all the time, especially people that I don't have anything to learn from and that have nothing to say.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
                    well IMO the worst in the disappearing act department is Scorpio. No one burns bridges like a Scorpio, and when they disappear, it's often permanent. I think the difference between Scorpio and Capricorn in this respect is that Capricorn is more aloof about their disappearing, whereas for Scorpio, it's fully intentional and meant to convey a message. I am amazed sometimes how many weeks can go by before i'll call someone who i have no idea is waiting every day to hear from me. Those few weeks can be so full of (((myself))) that i lose touch with the outside world considerably.

                    I understand to a degree what you're saying, Elisei, i keep to myself unless i feel that the company of others would enrich me in some way. But sometimes you just never know what magic is going to happen when you put yourself somewhere that you wouldn't normally be. Maybe the people around you have nothing to say of interest to you, or nothing to teach you, but what if you might say something to THEM that might be of value? You Aquarians have a way of making people think differently about things than they may ever have before. That alone is reason to keep yourself locked up for too long.
                    • yeah but when a scorpio disapears, it's a GOOD thing. at least in my experience, anyway.

                      and as far as caps & aquas go, that can be true too. i just started talking to an aqua friend that i hadn't spoken to in well over a decade. we had been best friends & roomies for years & then got into a fight & stopped talking. and then totally out of the blue we're talking again, nearly every day, just like no time passed at all.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
                    Pisces is well known for disappearing as well. I take not-so-brief hiatus' from reality on a regular basis, but generally it's just to sort out my inner drama queen. I'm a Pisces sun, Cap in Venus, Taurus moon, so I can keep myself regulated fairly well for a phish, but (like a Cap) I don't like it when others see me at a point where I can break (or worse yet, see me actually break) so I disappear for a while. It's a great coping mechanism, as long as you have stable friends who don't get all flighty when you stop calling them every hour.
  • Absolutely guilty as charged!

    Wed, August 27, 2008 - 2:36 PM
    I didn't realize this was such a notoriously Cap phenomenon but it's good to know I'm not the only one!

    I had one friend who once said, "You must have a lot of quarters." When I asked why, he said, "Well, in the game of life, you seem to be able to restart as many times as you want."

    It's partially true, but more than restarting, I have periods where I need to recharge, or just plain get back to work. For many years I had not one but TWO Leo best friends. The two of them together seemed to buzz with energy. When I need to blow off steam and party, they were the best friends, but when I changed gears and wanted to get back to whatever project I was working on, or just plain be alone, they always felt perplexed and hurt. In their view, NOTHING could be accomplished if it wasn't done at least partly in cooperation with someone else. I am much more private and secretive, and where my personal energy drains the more time I spend socializing, theirs would keep building up until they could almost float through the ceiling.

    I definitely disappear often, even if it's just for one day where I stop answering my phone (although sometimes it's much longer than that, and sometimes I never come back.). Sometimes it's just my inner switch went from "Play Hard" back to the normal presets "Work Hard" and "Stress Out". A lot of the times I stop socializing for periods of time because I realize what a drain of time and energy it is that I could be using accomplishing something "productive", and I feel a sickening sense of lost time. In my own personal life, I've chosen work that doesn't require me to leave the house......I couldn't stand seeing my time sucked away getting ready for work, commuting, taking a lunch hour, etc. When I've driven myself batty pursuing my multitudinous goals I'll take a break and let myself have some fun. Not too much fun though. That would be a waste of time.

    Oh well. Once a Capricorn......
    • Unsu...
       

      Re: Absolutely guilty as charged!

      Fri, October 24, 2008 - 11:57 PM
      Wow. I can't count how many times I've had the need to disappear this year.
      My life has been so frenetic this, health issues, turning 50, putting my dog to sleep after 9 years...and to top it all off, I just got divorced. Hells yeah, I've needed to go POOF. Every few months, I take a few days off and sleep.
      • Re: Absolutely guilty as charged!

        Tue, October 28, 2008 - 2:43 PM
        Now that I think about it I do this...I tend to hangout with people for months and then disappear into my cave and come out a couple months later and do the same thing..Its nothing personal, its just sometimes I wanna disappear dont know why but i do.........
        • Re: Absolutely guilty as charged!

          Tue, October 28, 2008 - 3:19 PM
          i fully understand this!
          i am in hiding lately. i will come out this weekend for a halloween party and then disappear again, possibly until New Year's. Last year i was notably absent on NYE. I was planning on being at the party but then this force compelled me to stay home and stay up all night doing collage. I usually feel a strong aversion to doing whatever "everybody" is doing. That includes parties, movies, potlucks, hotspots...perhaps for me to maintain my uber-geek persona it is necessary for me to avoid anything the "cool kids" are doing.
  • i something to say.
    hold on i'll be right back...
    • i **have** something to say...
      lol, i cannot even make a spontaneous joke without messing it up.
      capricorn curse... we're slow because we need to be...otherwise we just end up embarassing ourselves
      • I think you hit the nail on the head.. humiliation is a Capricorn's worst nightmare. Even a threat of potential embarrassment can make me shut down and find another way.
        I think calling it being "self-absorbed" (in one of the previous posts) is a little misleading because that implies that Caps are thinking only about themselves, but actually, they're thinking more about how their actions will frame the future or affect others' perception of them. Caps are certainly more complex than people think, but they don't know it because we don't let people see our weaknesses. It's safer to go into hiding than to air issues in public.
        So, when a Capricorn you know goes into hiding mode, (most of the time) they're striving for perfection and are figuring out how to not make a mistake or say the wrong thing. Or they could just be ignoring you.. :)
  • yeah your not alone me being a capricorn do the same thing. Like for a good week or days or how much i feel like i enjoy the company of many then out of no where i turn into a hermit and drop contact with most people i get all solitaire and melancholic. No one seems to mind it though cause their used to my behavior and know how i am. The only person however who gets very aggravated with my actions is a fellow Capricorn friend b-day 1/11/93... i dont know why but i guess we share the habit of not wanting to be reminded of our negative traits since we're bout capricorn....but im just sayin...
  • oh boy... i am a leo girl who has dealt with this from a cap man. our situation was a little more complicated though. we fell instantly and madly in love with each other but the timing was all wrong. first i was with someone and then right before i broke up with that guy he began a relationship with someone else... to which he's still currently attached.

    our story is so entangled and complex that i won't even get into it. i would have been more ok with the whole disappearing act if he had done one little thing... communicate. communication is an example of mutual respect and respect is a HUGE deal with me. it kinda felt like game playing to me after so long. i got fed up. i gave plenty of space, i wasn't needy or whiny, and i was vocal. he couldn't handle me. i like to face my demons head on so when we started experiencing some obstacles regarding miscommunications i brought it to the forefront. he would sort of flip out, become obviously anxious, and act like he didn't know what i was talking about. i spelled everything out for him so he knew of my intentions. i let him know straight up where i stood and what my concerns were that i was having difficulty swallowing. i used gentle, rational approach and am not a typical leo in acting out dramatically. i don't scream or yell. i'm not aggressive. however, i am assertive. he has his needs and i have mine. it was important, if we wanted the relationship to survive, that we openly communicate. it was apparent we spoke different languages and we had to both put forth effort to become bi-lingual. i was willing. he wanted to run away. oh well! i am only willing to compromise certain behaviors, not who i truly am. as much as i deeply love(d) that man, i had to let him go. i realized i was this force to be reckoned with that swooped into his simple life and caused quite a stir. before me he had everything neatly tucked into place. i felt like i was doing more harm than good, and in the end, he was starting to cause me some pain as well. boy was he worth it though! no regrets! he remains my most favorite man in the entire universe!
    • Here here Ninja!!!


      <-- Libra/Gem with a Leo moon connected past 20 years hot cold tp a Cap/Cap woith a Leo moon.

      Fate (and both having WAter Grand Trines) won't let us call it a day....
      But I find as nice as it is to have a rock to steady course by, it sure aint good for communication.
      I actually have only "lost track of him" one two year period out of the whole 22 we've known each other.
      And I was his closest confident until ... we lived together. Now you'd think I was a double agent!
      Why so secretive NOoow! I already know EVERYthing about you ...FROM YOU?

      His way of "disappearing" I think.
      I won't give up til he pushes me out the door and turn off the porch light to answer the question.."ya sure ya wanna do this?"
      I think that is the Leo in me (The Libra and Gem shoulda long since bailed! LOL)
      • I am a Cappy and I certainly have times to be social and times when I have to focus to keep a balance to all the weight I have (or saturn has) put on my shoulders.

        I have to say as a young adult with new freedom I was not so considerate in letting people know I was OK, I had to learn that. I am not one that would be offened if this was done to me, however, I **would** worry about that person so I try not to put others in position to worry about me.
        I have learned to communicate the intentions behind my behavior and also the value I hold in my friendships so they understand me better. It seems to work just fine.

        I also have 2 very close Leo friends (of about 12+ years) and yes they are balls of endless energy.
        When I am not around, they keep each other busy...And they understand that I go into my cave when needed and it is nothing personal. They are both pretty supportive actually.
        They respect my time and will not interrupt it but at the same time know in emergency I will be there.
        Infact, more recently, one of them texted me (not call, since it was not emergent) and said "I need you".
        She NEVER interrupts me so I stopped what I was doing and called her immediately.

        As far as the amount of time I spend alone/focused on my goals...
        With age I have an increasing awareness that time is limited with the people I love so I do not take them for granted. I still have to do what I need to do as I work, but with the emphasis of 'quality over quantity' when it comes to sharing time and I do not forget to catch up/make time.
        My friends and family give me space and I intern accomodate them as they are too.
        I do not put expectations on them, but I do try to give them the things that 'they' need when I am present/or not.
        And Aquarian poster (somewhere above), you are correct, we are not the only ones that dissapear.

        I have many Scorpios AND Cancers in my family/circle of friends that need alone time...
        So for me, the disappearing act is not such a bad thing. It can be managed as we become more aware...

        As for Scorpio's disappearing, I have a stellium in Scorpio (Mars/Venus/Jupiter) in my 7th house of relationships and when I disappear in/from that respect, I certainly am gone for good.
        I never look back either. In fact, I can complete forget that person at will. And I do.
        But that has happened only 1 time so far in my life and it was a good call.
        • I must admit that I've learned about this Cap characteristic the latest month, since I haven't ever had a Cap friend until now and the close Cap friend that I've made the past year is doing the dissapearing thing now.. I am Cancer and even though I'm doing the same dissapearing thing to other of my friends, this close Cap friend was the first one that did it to me (it was my turn, probably..)
          With this friend we got really bonded and even though I've learned that most of you are very secretive with what you really feel, he was very open to me to express his fears (about a new job of course..but other stuff as well). 4 weeks ago he started a new job and gradually he started dissapearing and not returning any calls or text messages.. To others (especially for us Cancers, who are very insecure at times) it seems like you want to stop any contact and its very, very painful at times)
          However now that I've read about this characteristic of yours here and on other blogs I started understanding..but probably its better to let know people who are close to you and care about you,of what's happening and then we will let you in peace for as long as you like..since ,at least for us Cancers, we understand how really precious are the times with ourselves..to defragment and reboot..
          • My best friend is a Cancer. Her and I used to disappear on each other all the time. Even though our schedules were set up to see each other every day. We never "discussed" our need for space or how we are, we just knew. I remember her disappearing on a lot of people. My motto for her when people came up to me to wonder what was going on was "1. I do not know where she is. 2. I do not know what she is thinking. 3. Do not ask me any questions about her." Lol...just because I totally repspected her need for space but other people didn't get it. Maybe it has something to do with us being exact opposites on the chart.

            I do remember when I was dating this Cancer male that he would disappear and it would annoy me because he wouldn't give me any heads up and I would think we were doing something. Low and behold we weren't. Lol..but I let it slide. Once I explained to him that I knew his antics and do the same (or more like when he experienced from me) he understood.

            Don't let it deter you. Most capricorns are friends for life, just sometimes we hibernate. He is probably saving up all his energy for his new job and getting acclimated to the new schedule. He will be back.
  • Holy Sea Goats Batman, I'm doing this disappearing act this very moment.

    Glad to know that some of my fellow caps are in the same boat...want to recharge the batteries, shrug off some personal shiate or what have you - without involving friends. But when I make my comeback, look out cause these guys can't keep up.

    So, I'm not that strange afterall eyh?
  • I'm a different Aubrey than the op, but I guess I do this 'disappearing act' <rarely> too and quite frankly I hate that I do it. I try really hard not to. If I do it's for a few days and I come out apologizing profusely. It may be typical of capricorns, but in my opinion it's a little unnecessary. I think there is a big difference in the amount of respectfulness between 'disappearing' and 'excusing yourself' when peace-ing out for an indefinite amount of time.

    I don't really think it's absurd when people care about me enough to wonder where I've gone or what I'm up to. I would do the same... what's so hard to understand? I think it's a little foolish and naive to feel undeserving about it. Come on guys... we're fricken caps... what the heck isn't to love and admire or care about. I'm not trying to be uptight about it. I'm understanding. Sometimes to a fault. But regardless, just like one of the other replies here, I kinda dislike when others leave me hanging so I feel like I'm being completely rude if I've poofed without notice on other people. I keep in touch and I feel like it's important as it's communication. And it's like everyone says... communication is key in any and every relationship. It shows a level of responsibility, care and respect. There's nothing difficult about saying "hey I don't have time to talk or hang out... I have a lot on my mind and a lot that I'm working on. keep in touch and I'll try to do the same. peace and love" ...piece.of.cake.!.
  • Unsu...
     
    OMG! i'm going through a spell of isolation at the moment! I have successfully avoided hanging out with all my Leo, Sagittarius, and Aries friends. its not that I'm angry, not even necessarily annoyed...i just currently don't have the energy to actually listen and whole heartedly care at the moment because i'm going through some things myself. The only people who can make me laugh in these "lowest of lows" are usually Cancers, Virgos, and other Capricorns.

    Thanks for this post, made me feel a little less like a bad person :)
    • sorry i am new to this not sure how to start a new post but ive been reading through this one and hopefully smeone will reply and give me some insight. I dont honestly think he will be back in touch now as its been three days not a word and ive asked for his key back, but i do love him still.

      I am in love with a capricorn man who said he was in love with me and i had no reason to doubt him, until now that is!! I am totally totally at a loss as to why he has just switched off from me shut me out and will not reply to me. Im 48 been single for 6 years just not met "the one" until now and he felt exactly the same it was fate brought us together and was like weve known each other all our lives. We were planning out future together at the weekend (3 days ago now) altho we have discussed our future on many occasions before he left for the train station. Hetext me as soon as he got to the station to say he was already missing me etc. and I spoke to him Sunday as well, but I have not heard anything since!! Ive texted him and they have been delivered coz i got my delivery report. But nothing, no explanation, no nothing. In the end ive ended up coming to the conclusion he's changed his mind but has not the guts to tell me and ive sent him texts telling him exactly how i feel and because hes not been in touch im left with trying to summise what's going on in his head and how hurt (understatement) i am. It just all seems unreal cant get my head round it at all!! One minute we were planning out future and everything was absolutely fine between us, then the next a few hours later hes totally cut me off without a word or explanation!! Im in bits here I just dont understand!!!???

      I havent been nasty on my texts really Ive just tried to get through to him how im feeling and why he has done this. He's obviously not coming back now and ive also asked him to send my key back. He knows i still love him i told him but has everything he's said been a lie?

      Can anyone Please help me try and understand. Do u think he will eventually get back in touch and be all sorry or will he just leave it now and move on? It's been three days now and he even knows ive been in hospital and still not even got in touch. It's like he just doesn't care one little bit like i never exisited!!
      • girl fuck the damn sign. he isn't the one for you --- I know i know your not getting any younger. look don't let some man run your life cause he for damn sure not gonna let you do him like that. Now move on and forget about this man and move on to the mext that will truely love you in return, respect you, kind, loveing, honest, open, caring, and always and i mean always keep his word no matter what. I'm a capricorn and I know for a fact and who i am that I don't do shit like that at all. not even my best friend who's a capricorn and he don't even do that to his girlfriend AT ALLLLLL, okay, he's been with her for 4 years and is getting married soon. Sorry honey but not all Capricorns are the same. Move on with your life or imma end up making your ass get up and move. Don't just sit there like that.
  • okay I'm a capricorn and my ex/ best friend is a leo. when we we're together I felt like he exspected too much out of me and kept asking me " what on your mind ?" alllllll the time, and I really don't like that at all. It makes me feel like you expected me to reveal EVERYTHINg to you ----- when it really don't work like that with us at all. Anyway we are still great friends and yes I do stayy away from him alot for a long period of time only because i feel like he don't have that right to know too much and getting a little too lose and acting weird as hell. But it sound's like to me you might be having some feelings towards this person but the person turn's you off when they'd end up showing their true feelings and being all over you and actin coco as in crazy and weird, which makes us capricorns uncomfortable, confuesed and make us feel like we wanna run. cause them leos they'd giving it all too much and exspect it the same out of you when they want it out of you, but your not gonna do that cause they'd doing too much and that's when you really don't hear from us for a looonnnnggg period of time. You ask so take it or leave it i'm not gonna sit here and paint a little pretty colorful picture for you, cause i'm not imma tell you like it is rather you like it or not, so you asked. period.
  • This is a 6-8 Sun Sign Pattern, with Leo representing eighth-house matters to Capricorn, and Capricorn representing sixth-house matters to Leo.It must be faced that there's no way out from under the restrictive influence of Saturn over Leo's bright enthusiasm and warm, sunny personality - nor is it likely that Capricorn will be unduly impressed with the sound of the tom-toms the Big Cats beat in pride over their great accomplishments. There's no way Leo can ultimately top the Goats, because Capricorn is ahead of Leo in the karmic astrological wheel of life. Leo is undeniably wise, but the Goat is wiser. Leo is a Fixed Sign, therefore somewhat stubborn, but the earthy Goat is more stubborn, and on top of that is bossy, Capricorn being a Cardinal sign. Even bossier than Leo, but much quieter about it, less obtrusive. Leo is admittedly a practical organizer, but Capricorn is even more so.
    The sixth astrological house represents service. Therefore, the planets decree that in some manner, however subtle or marginal, Capricorns must provide some sort of 'service' to any Leo with whom they are closely associated. There! Doesn't that make you feel better? It's like, well… let's see… it's like a mother and father, being wiser than their small baby, yet nevertheless forced to render 'service' to the infant. I see the Leos glaring at me, in injured dignity. Sorry. That's not a good allegory. I mean, it is a good one, but not designed to soothe the Lion's sore paws, still smarting from the thorn of Capricorn's restriction over Leo. (Dare I say Capricorn's superiority over Leo? No. I dare not.) How about imagining Capricorns (of whatever chronological age) as kindly, but firm, grandparents, who serve Leos by counseling them from the vantage point of wisdom, by the virtue of seeing things from the top of the mountain. That's a little easier, perhaps, for Leo to swallow. It's rather like taking your castor oil or eating your spinach and asparagus as a child. It isn't pleasant, but it's for your own good and to your best interest to give in and stop struggling.

    Leo and Capricorn, are curious about one another. The Big Cats fascinate Cappy, who would love to know what makes them the way they are. Normally, the Goats aren't curious, but Leo does represent to them a puzzle they wouldn't mind piecing together, although they won't lose any sleep over it. Leo, on the other hand, inwardly senses that Capricorn's counsel is well meant, and may now and then listen. Not always, but now and then.

    Capricorn observes with some amusement Leo's extravagance of speech and dress. Within the Goat's heart, he (or she) may wistfully wish for a bit of the Leonine daring. Cappy is often strangely moved by the huge scope of Leo's goals, intrigued by Leo's generosity and disregard for financial security, and maybe just a little envious of Leo's courage in dreaming such giant dreams, then having the majesty to proudly command them to come true. How dare they not come true?!

    Unless there's a cautious Moon Sign or Ascendant in the Lion or Lioness's horoscope, these people will not exhibit undue concern for rainy days, nor be overly troubled over the possibility of either poverty or failure. It's an attitude totally opposed to the caution and concern for the morrow displayed by the typical oat. There's so much that's different in these two. From their hair styles to their clothing, from their ability to be patient (Cappy can, Leo can't), and from their banking practices (Cappy is a bit tight-fisted, Leo's a little loose-handed) to their speech (Cappy is somewhat shy and gentle, Leo is eloquent and dramatic), and from their method of reaching for the brass ring on the carousel (Cappy is watchful and carefully calculating, Leo is daring and impulsive), it sometimes seems as though they are from two different Universes.

    If the Sun and Moon in their horoscopes are square or opposed, each will make the other feel markedly uncomfortable, with Leo privately believing that Capricorn is cold, selfish, unfeeling, and stuffy - and the Goat privately believing that Leo is wasteful and careless, egotistical and vain - as they 'see through a glass darkly,' recognizing only the negative side of the coin of character in one another.

    Should these Luminaries, however, be in favourable aspect with each other in their respective charts, Capricorn will provide a sturdy mental and emotional foundation, upon which Leo can build some lasting fires, symbolically speaking. Realistically speaking, the Goat could profit by imitating Leo's vision and faith in the future, just as the Lion or Lioness will find the dependability of a Capricorn friend, business associate, relative, lover, or mate a secure and cozy haven of the familiar and the reliable when the skyrockets fizzle out on rainy days. Becoming competitive can turn them into either open or secret enemies. But cooperation can cause a strong and enduring relationship to grow between them, nourished in the rich Earth of Capricorn's silent waiting and warmed by the life-giving force of Leo's benevolent Sun - when they're considerate of one another's feelings, and take turns trying to be tolerant of each other's seemingly foreign viewpoints.

    Strangely and hauntingly, as with all 6-8 Sun Sign Patters, Leo represents to Capricorn the eighth house of sexual mystery, death, birth, reincarnation, regeneration - and 'other people's money.' This often takes unusual forms in their relationship, one of them sometimes being that the association brings to Capricorn, through Leo, some experience of death or matters pertaining to death, connected with their meeting.

    Cappy will see much further into truth by periodically looking at Life through Leo's high-powered binoculars. Leo will see truth more clearly by occasionally looking at the world through Capricorn's calm, steady eyes. The sudden comprehension of the true motivational ideals of someone completely different from yourself is always a magical surprise, bringing the power to open up a closed mind to the fresh air of understanding that touches the heart, with an unexpected rush of tenderness - and the dawning of compassion. Leo desperately needs to learn and imitate the gentle humility and patience Saturn teaches Cappy so sternly, yet so wisely and so well. Capricorn just as desperately needs the warm rays of Leo's Sun to shine upon that Saturnine loneliness of spirit, for no one can so miraculously release the Goat's imprisoned yearnings as a Leo, who gloriously was born free.

    songsdomain.tripod.com/leocap...e4.html

  • I know this topic is almost four years old but ... yea I am a Cappy and I disappear quite often from my friends. When I was younger I disappeared a lot because I am just like those goats in field, I just kinda like being off to myself, hanging out meeting new people, doing some "weird" things that my friends probably wouldn't have been excited about. I would be off feeding my curiousity, most of all, enjoying my freedom and personal space. I believe most Cappys are introverts masked with extrovert traits. Though I LOVED my friends, I needed time to myself without someone asking me to explain why I wanted to wander off to something different, wanted to be around different people, wanted to hear something different. Now that I am older, (40s) I am really not as available because I just like to do my own thing and I am sorting through some serious emotions. I'm a little depressive right now, like Im not UNHAPPY but I feel a unfulfilled and I feel pulled in a lot of directions and I',m not sure where to go and how to "shake" off these feelings.. And since I don't fake the funk well, I backed off from socializing (other than with my weirdo Aquarius boyfriend who I enjoy dearly). I am movinmg bnack to a place of balance, however. I realize that I am missing time with people I live, so I want to balance my time off to myself with hanging out with those I love and know. Life is really about balance .... I think us Cappys are in a constant pursuit of balance - our inner personality strengths and flaws, our finances and material desires, our desire to be free and uncontrolled with our tendency to feel obligated and responsible .. we are constantly tippin the "scales" ..hmmm well gotta go ..My Aquarius just called and wants me to ride around with him while he pays bills, and then I get to hit up a couple of thrift shops and a coffee shop and maybe we will find music in the park ...Love it! The start of a perfect day! Peace out ya'll
    • and let me correct " back off from socializing' ....I still get out and have fun with my friends and family I it's just not as often as I used to, and I can flake out on them sometimes. I think I give off the energy sometimes that I am not 100 percent there when I am in their presence.

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